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Life in an empty nest
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| H&N photo by Todd E. Swenson Julia Malcomb talks about her only son Max, left, who is leaving home to go to college soon. |
Basin parents say there is life after children
By STEVE KADEL
H&N Staff Writer
Neal and Yolanda Buchanan’s two children left home years ago to strike out on their own.
Brent, 30, teaches fifth grade in the Hillsboro School District while Dana, 27, is in Texas where her husband, Kevin, works at a Jeld-Wen door plant.
Their two parents — Neal is a Klamath Falls attorney and Yolanda retired last month as an elementary school teacher — found themselves with lots of time on their hands once the kids were gone. They’ve had time to perfect the art of living as a couple again, and say it has its rewards.
“There is life after children,” Neal said with a grin.
Brent played soccer, track and basketball in high school. Dana played tennis, soccer and basketball. There were plenty of games to attend, and athletics dictated the family schedule to a large degree.
Neal said he and Yolanda were “chasers” because of all the trips they used to make to sports events. That continued even when the children enrolled in Oregon State University, with the couple attending football games in Corvallis.
“We were chasers even when they were both in college,” Neal said.
When Brent and Dana lived at home, Neal and Yolanda used to rely on weekends at their Rocky Point cabin or Shasta Lake houseboat for solitude.
Now they have all the quiet time they need right at home.
They adjusted easily to the change.
“It is enjoyable to have a little peace,” Yolanda said.
Neal advises those about to become empty-nesters to develop hobbies or other interests after the children are gone.
“And have lots of friends,” Yolanda added.
Her advice is to “stay involved. Have your own life.”
Neal and Yolanda are doing just that. They are members of a wine and dinner club that meets monthly. However, they also plan to travel to see their children and a grandchild born to Brent and his wife, Sarah.
Will the transition be that easy for Julia and Robert Malcomb? Their only child, Max, 18, is on his way to Southern Oregon University in August after graduating from Henley High School.
How will the absence of a teenager affect their home life? Like the Buchanan family, athletics gave structure to much of the Malcombs’ free time. Max played soccer for Henley and his parents were eager spectators.
What will fill the void?
Julie, who works for State Farm Insurance, joked that she might have time to keep the house in better shape. But more seriously, she plans to exercise more and do more gardening once Max moves out.
Robert, a Burlington Northern car inspector, realizes there will be more time in his day, too, without need to drive Max to and from activities.
“Transport,” he said.
“That’s all I did for a few years, it seemed.”
“(Parenthood) didn’t change our life until the soccer games and tae kwon do tournaments,” Julia said.
Neither parent is worried about the impending change.
“He won’t be that far away,” Robert said. “He won’t be across the country.”
Julia said she accepts the departure a little more each day, as the time draws near.
“The anxiety is subtle for me because he is not gone yet,” she said.
Neither parent views the future with apprehension because they were married for nine years before Max was born and developed their own interests in that time.
“It will be less hard for us because we did things before,” Julia said.
The Malcombs say they waited later in life than their friends did to have a child. The couple chuckles about the reaction from friends who’ve been in their own “empty nest” for years, enjoying solitude and less hustle and bustle in the home.
“They laughed at us when we got pregnant at 36 and 38,” Julia said.
Brent, 30, teaches fifth grade in the Hillsboro School District while Dana, 27, is in Texas where her husband, Kevin, works at a Jeld-Wen door plant.
Their two parents — Neal is a Klamath Falls attorney and Yolanda retired last month as an elementary school teacher — found themselves with lots of time on their hands once the kids were gone. They’ve had time to perfect the art of living as a couple again, and say it has its rewards.
“There is life after children,” Neal said with a grin.
Sporting life
Brent played soccer, track and basketball in high school. Dana played tennis, soccer and basketball. There were plenty of games to attend, and athletics dictated the family schedule to a large degree.
Neal said he and Yolanda were “chasers” because of all the trips they used to make to sports events. That continued even when the children enrolled in Oregon State University, with the couple attending football games in Corvallis.
“We were chasers even when they were both in college,” Neal said.
When Brent and Dana lived at home, Neal and Yolanda used to rely on weekends at their Rocky Point cabin or Shasta Lake houseboat for solitude.
Now they have all the quiet time they need right at home.
They adjusted easily to the change.
“It is enjoyable to have a little peace,” Yolanda said.
Neal advises those about to become empty-nesters to develop hobbies or other interests after the children are gone.
“And have lots of friends,” Yolanda added.
Her advice is to “stay involved. Have your own life.”
Neal and Yolanda are doing just that. They are members of a wine and dinner club that meets monthly. However, they also plan to travel to see their children and a grandchild born to Brent and his wife, Sarah.
Empty nest coming up
Will the transition be that easy for Julia and Robert Malcomb? Their only child, Max, 18, is on his way to Southern Oregon University in August after graduating from Henley High School.
How will the absence of a teenager affect their home life? Like the Buchanan family, athletics gave structure to much of the Malcombs’ free time. Max played soccer for Henley and his parents were eager spectators.
Filling the void
What will fill the void?
Julie, who works for State Farm Insurance, joked that she might have time to keep the house in better shape. But more seriously, she plans to exercise more and do more gardening once Max moves out.
Robert, a Burlington Northern car inspector, realizes there will be more time in his day, too, without need to drive Max to and from activities.
“Transport,” he said.
“That’s all I did for a few years, it seemed.”
“(Parenthood) didn’t change our life until the soccer games and tae kwon do tournaments,” Julia said.
Neither parent is worried about the impending change.
“He won’t be that far away,” Robert said. “He won’t be across the country.”
Julia said she accepts the departure a little more each day, as the time draws near.
“The anxiety is subtle for me because he is not gone yet,” she said.
Their own interests
Neither parent views the future with apprehension because they were married for nine years before Max was born and developed their own interests in that time.
“It will be less hard for us because we did things before,” Julia said.
The Malcombs say they waited later in life than their friends did to have a child. The couple chuckles about the reaction from friends who’ve been in their own “empty nest” for years, enjoying solitude and less hustle and bustle in the home.
“They laughed at us when we got pregnant at 36 and 38,” Julia said.
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