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Local family grows through adoption
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| H&N photos by Andrew Mariman Rick, Laurie and Max Hetherington share a laugh at home in Klamath Falls. The Hetheringtons adopted Max after filing hundreds of documents and making two separate trips to Russia. |
November 3, 2006
Adoption was a transforming process for Laurie and Rick Hetherington of Klamath Falls and for Maxim, a little boy from Russia.
Max, 3, is a bundle of energy, curious about everything - exploring, touching, asking questions - and soaking up information like a sponge.
“It (adoption) has been all we expected and more,” Laurie said. “He has had no attachment problems. We've been blessed. He has a charming personality.”
The Hetheringtons are sharing their story in hopes of encouraging other families to consider adopting a child.
For the Hetheringtons, adoption was their first choice.
“We had talked about it, and I knew I always, even way back, wanted to adopt or do foster care,” Laurie said. “We were older when we got married so for us adoption was our choice. Our friends all have children.”
“Children who are in high school, college, or out of college,” Rick added. “And Laurie's sister had foster children and they adopted.”
Starting the process
The first decision was whether to adopt through an American or international agency. Initially they considered both.
“We were not happy with the domestic trend which is now to open adoption,” Laurie said. “Knowing the birth parent is one thing. Sharing your whole life and your child's life is another thing.” The couple has good friends who did open adoption and it's worked for them, but Laurie said she wasn't comfortable with the concept.
Initially, they considered Albania, where they planned to visit friends who run an American school there.
But there are only two agencies in the United States that do Albanian adoptions, and the process takes 2 1/2 years.
“Russia was our next choice,” Laurie said. “We have friends who have done work there running a summer camp at orphanages.”
Laurie did an Internet search for agencies to work with for an international adoption and came up with hundreds.
They narrowed it to Russia, then to agencies on the West Coast, and their final criteria, that it be faith-based. That narrowed the search to three agencies in Portland.
After talking with the three agencies, they agreed on All God's Children, which facilitates adoptions from Russian, China and Guatemala.
“By the time we walked out, we felt connected,” Laurie said.
It was the first step of what proved to be a daunting, but worthwhile, process.
Intensity of the process
In February 2004, they started the paperwork.
“Our dossier required hundreds of pieces of paper. In June 2004, we finally had them completed and submitted. Then we met with agency representatives at our home and did the whole process for two days. We had no idea of the intensity and the awareness education you go through,” Laurie said.
The home study gives prospective parents an opportunity to look deeply into their motives, suitability to be parents, how their lives would change and their ability to take care of a family.
“They ask, ‘Can you handle it emotionally, financially,' ” Laurie said. “If they made every high school student answer all these questions ... forget abstinence. They make you ask yourself, are we really ready?”
They were required to go through background checks by local police, state police, FBI and the Department of Homeland Security. They had brief moments of hesitation, thinking about all the changes a child would bring, but “we had thought it through.”
Adopting in Russia
A factor which influenced them in choosing a Russian adoption was finding an experienced, supportive agency which could guide them through the morass of legalities required by the Russian bureaucracy and by each section of the country.
“Russia is more like Canada, where each region has more autonomy,” Rick said.
Also, age requirements were more relaxed in Russia than in America and other countries. The requirement there was the parents be no more than 49 or 50 years older than the child they were adopting.
In November, they got a referral, which means a child had been selected. A day later, Russia imposed a moratorium on all adoptions by Americans because of abuse cases in the U.S.
The moratorium lifted January 2005, and on Valentine's Day the Hetheringtons flew to Moscow, then on KRAS Air in a 1960s plane to Krasnoyarsk, a town in Siberia. It was minus 45 degrees F, and they had flown exactly halfway around the world from Oregon.
The agency provided a translator, coordinator and driver. It was another three-hour drive to the village where the orphanage was located.
“They brought Max out, telling us not to expect him to warm up to Rick, because chances were he had never seen a man,” Laurie said.
Women do all the child care in the state-run orphanages.
“It was amazing,” Laurie said. “He sat there on both our laps. We had brought him a stuffed animal to play with. He was 18 months old then.”
“There are 700,000 orphans in Russia,” Rick said. “There are rich and poor people, no middle class, no safety net, no welfare and abortion is not common, so when a family can't care for a child, they leave them at an orphanage.”
It almost didn't happen
They spent five days at the orphanage, then returned home to complete another round of documents requested by Russian officials. They returned to the village on Memorial Day.
The Hetheringtons appealed to members of their church and collected $1,000 to take to the Russian orphanage. Because they were not allowed to give cash, they converted the money to rubles and purchased medicine, supplies and clothing for the orphanage. The staff was stunned.
The final step was a court appearance.
“We had to appear before the judge. It's an ordeal,” Laurie said. “A woman in a military uniform, the prosecutor, represents the child. The social worker from the orphanage was definitely favoring us.”
“We're the defendant in the process,” Rick said. “The state is there to protect Max.”
They knew it was the judge's call. She had the power to say no.
The process took two hours, and the judge demanded a document they had not been required by the agency to provide - a letter from the local police saying they were not criminals. Laurie was not allowed to speak, only Rick, and they were not allowed to make eye contact with their translator.
“I almost cried,” Laurie remembered. “We aren't going to get him. They sent us outside, then the bailiff came and got us for a lengthy formality of reading documents.”
They were going to be allowed to adopt their blond, blue-eyed Max.
They departed for home June 7, Max's second birthday, which because of crossing time zones, lasted 36 hours.
“When we touched down on U.S. soil, Max became an American citizen,” said Rick, “and he will have dual citizenship until he is 18, when he must make a choice.”
The Hetheringtons preserved the experience in a scrapbook filled with pictures which they share with Max. It includes the orphanage, the village, people they met and the cities they saw.
Max didn't speak any Russian when they adopted him, but he understood it. He didn't know English at all, but he adapted quickly, and is a healthy, active little boy.
By LEE BEACH
H&N Staff Writer
The Hetheringtons
Rick and Laurie met when both were working at Jeld-Wen.
Rick, 50, is a vice president of the Window Group. Laurie, 40, is now a full-time mom and homemaker, taking care of Max, 3.
They are preparing to adopt their second child from Russia. Their paperwork is being registered now, and they expect a referral within a month or so. By early 2007, Max will have a baby brother.
They get support through an adoptive parents' group they found on the Internet, which has a chapter in Bend, and they can still call the social director of the agency through which they adopted with questions. They also network with friends, a number of whom in Klamath Falls have also adopted internationally.
National Adoption Day
National Adoption Day is Nov. 18. On that day, an unprecedented number of courts and communities coast-to-coast will finalize thousands of adoptions of children from foster care and celebrate all families who adopt.
The day will bring together hundreds of judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, and child advocates who are dedicated to creating families for waiting children.
There are 118,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted. Adopting from the U.S. foster care system is generally the least expensive type of adoption, usually involving little or no cost, and states often provide subsidies to adoptive parents. Step-parent and kinship adoptions are often not very costly. Agency and private adoptions can range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more depending on a variety of factors including services provided, travel expenses, birthmother expenses, requirements in the state, and other factors. International adoptions can range from $7,000 to $30,000, according to the Adoption Network Law Center. Tax credits may apply for adoption expenses.
Adoption was a transforming process for Laurie and Rick Hetherington of Klamath Falls and for Maxim, a little boy from Russia.
Max, 3, is a bundle of energy, curious about everything - exploring, touching, asking questions - and soaking up information like a sponge.
“It (adoption) has been all we expected and more,” Laurie said. “He has had no attachment problems. We've been blessed. He has a charming personality.”
The Hetheringtons are sharing their story in hopes of encouraging other families to consider adopting a child.
For the Hetheringtons, adoption was their first choice.
“We had talked about it, and I knew I always, even way back, wanted to adopt or do foster care,” Laurie said. “We were older when we got married so for us adoption was our choice. Our friends all have children.”
“Children who are in high school, college, or out of college,” Rick added. “And Laurie's sister had foster children and they adopted.”
Starting the process
The first decision was whether to adopt through an American or international agency. Initially they considered both.
“We were not happy with the domestic trend which is now to open adoption,” Laurie said. “Knowing the birth parent is one thing. Sharing your whole life and your child's life is another thing.” The couple has good friends who did open adoption and it's worked for them, but Laurie said she wasn't comfortable with the concept.
Initially, they considered Albania, where they planned to visit friends who run an American school there.
But there are only two agencies in the United States that do Albanian adoptions, and the process takes 2 1/2 years.
“Russia was our next choice,” Laurie said. “We have friends who have done work there running a summer camp at orphanages.”
Laurie did an Internet search for agencies to work with for an international adoption and came up with hundreds.
They narrowed it to Russia, then to agencies on the West Coast, and their final criteria, that it be faith-based. That narrowed the search to three agencies in Portland.
After talking with the three agencies, they agreed on All God's Children, which facilitates adoptions from Russian, China and Guatemala.
“By the time we walked out, we felt connected,” Laurie said.
It was the first step of what proved to be a daunting, but worthwhile, process.
Intensity of the process
In February 2004, they started the paperwork.
“Our dossier required hundreds of pieces of paper. In June 2004, we finally had them completed and submitted. Then we met with agency representatives at our home and did the whole process for two days. We had no idea of the intensity and the awareness education you go through,” Laurie said.
The home study gives prospective parents an opportunity to look deeply into their motives, suitability to be parents, how their lives would change and their ability to take care of a family.
“They ask, ‘Can you handle it emotionally, financially,' ” Laurie said. “If they made every high school student answer all these questions ... forget abstinence. They make you ask yourself, are we really ready?”
They were required to go through background checks by local police, state police, FBI and the Department of Homeland Security. They had brief moments of hesitation, thinking about all the changes a child would bring, but “we had thought it through.”
Adopting in Russia
A factor which influenced them in choosing a Russian adoption was finding an experienced, supportive agency which could guide them through the morass of legalities required by the Russian bureaucracy and by each section of the country.
“Russia is more like Canada, where each region has more autonomy,” Rick said.
Also, age requirements were more relaxed in Russia than in America and other countries. The requirement there was the parents be no more than 49 or 50 years older than the child they were adopting.
In November, they got a referral, which means a child had been selected. A day later, Russia imposed a moratorium on all adoptions by Americans because of abuse cases in the U.S.
The moratorium lifted January 2005, and on Valentine's Day the Hetheringtons flew to Moscow, then on KRAS Air in a 1960s plane to Krasnoyarsk, a town in Siberia. It was minus 45 degrees F, and they had flown exactly halfway around the world from Oregon.
The agency provided a translator, coordinator and driver. It was another three-hour drive to the village where the orphanage was located.
“They brought Max out, telling us not to expect him to warm up to Rick, because chances were he had never seen a man,” Laurie said.
Women do all the child care in the state-run orphanages.
“It was amazing,” Laurie said. “He sat there on both our laps. We had brought him a stuffed animal to play with. He was 18 months old then.”
“There are 700,000 orphans in Russia,” Rick said. “There are rich and poor people, no middle class, no safety net, no welfare and abortion is not common, so when a family can't care for a child, they leave them at an orphanage.”
It almost didn't happen
They spent five days at the orphanage, then returned home to complete another round of documents requested by Russian officials. They returned to the village on Memorial Day.
The Hetheringtons appealed to members of their church and collected $1,000 to take to the Russian orphanage. Because they were not allowed to give cash, they converted the money to rubles and purchased medicine, supplies and clothing for the orphanage. The staff was stunned.
The final step was a court appearance.
“We had to appear before the judge. It's an ordeal,” Laurie said. “A woman in a military uniform, the prosecutor, represents the child. The social worker from the orphanage was definitely favoring us.”
“We're the defendant in the process,” Rick said. “The state is there to protect Max.”
They knew it was the judge's call. She had the power to say no.
The process took two hours, and the judge demanded a document they had not been required by the agency to provide - a letter from the local police saying they were not criminals. Laurie was not allowed to speak, only Rick, and they were not allowed to make eye contact with their translator.
“I almost cried,” Laurie remembered. “We aren't going to get him. They sent us outside, then the bailiff came and got us for a lengthy formality of reading documents.”
They were going to be allowed to adopt their blond, blue-eyed Max.
They departed for home June 7, Max's second birthday, which because of crossing time zones, lasted 36 hours.
“When we touched down on U.S. soil, Max became an American citizen,” said Rick, “and he will have dual citizenship until he is 18, when he must make a choice.”
The Hetheringtons preserved the experience in a scrapbook filled with pictures which they share with Max. It includes the orphanage, the village, people they met and the cities they saw.
Max didn't speak any Russian when they adopted him, but he understood it. He didn't know English at all, but he adapted quickly, and is a healthy, active little boy.
By LEE BEACH
H&N Staff Writer
The Hetheringtons
Rick and Laurie met when both were working at Jeld-Wen.
Rick, 50, is a vice president of the Window Group. Laurie, 40, is now a full-time mom and homemaker, taking care of Max, 3.
They are preparing to adopt their second child from Russia. Their paperwork is being registered now, and they expect a referral within a month or so. By early 2007, Max will have a baby brother.
They get support through an adoptive parents' group they found on the Internet, which has a chapter in Bend, and they can still call the social director of the agency through which they adopted with questions. They also network with friends, a number of whom in Klamath Falls have also adopted internationally.
National Adoption Day
National Adoption Day is Nov. 18. On that day, an unprecedented number of courts and communities coast-to-coast will finalize thousands of adoptions of children from foster care and celebrate all families who adopt.
The day will bring together hundreds of judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, and child advocates who are dedicated to creating families for waiting children.
There are 118,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted. Adopting from the U.S. foster care system is generally the least expensive type of adoption, usually involving little or no cost, and states often provide subsidies to adoptive parents. Step-parent and kinship adoptions are often not very costly. Agency and private adoptions can range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more depending on a variety of factors including services provided, travel expenses, birthmother expenses, requirements in the state, and other factors. International adoptions can range from $7,000 to $30,000, according to the Adoption Network Law Center. Tax credits may apply for adoption expenses.
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skii v. wrote on Jun 26, 2009 12:51 AM:
" Steven Vannarath is my cousin and he is a really good guy.ive been talking to him for the last couple months.After that night happend,i could not sleep for days thinging about him.He has a beautyful daughter that he miss.he will be a free man im acouple of months.GOD LET YOU BE WITH EVERYONE AMEN "
phillip wrote on Feb 1, 2009 1:43 AM:
" I'm looking for 100+ acreas of land with anual running water, stream, etc, with tree's, as forested as posible, am going to build a cabin for me to retire, thank you. "
Stephanie Patterson Southwell wrote on Oct 4, 2008 6:19 PM:
" I came across this article and find it very interesting. My grandad was the "Southwell" in Southwell & Stilwell :) My dad and uncles were raised in Klamath Falls until they moved to the Portland area. "
Margaret wrote on Apr 29, 2008 11:19 AM:
" It appears the two negative reader comments are associated with the wrong article, as they do not seem to relate. It's unfortunate they are appearing after reading such a nice article about this concert. "
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Rebecca T wrote on Jul 10, 2009 9:16 PM: